


Promise?

by UnderscoreJay



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Peter Parker Angst, Peter Parker Has Issues, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter Parker has PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 16:02:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20066719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnderscoreJay/pseuds/UnderscoreJay
Summary: "Do you promise?""Yeah, I promise."--In other words, Peter and Michelle get intimate and something goes wrong





	Promise?

**Author's Note:**

> TW FOR RAPE!!!
> 
> Anywho this isnt my best work either but it's a very personal work and I wrote it at like 1 AM so I hope you appreciate it
> 
> XO

_ Okay Peter, breathe. It's okay, you're okay. It's just MJ, she's not gonna hurt you she loves you and you love her it's okay you're okay breathebreathebreathe _

Michelle sat up from beneath Peter and smiled at the boy in front of her. "Let's do something more fun," the girl suggested in a flirtatious tone. 

_ You're okay you're okay it's just MJ you can handle it you're gonna be fine okay okay okay this is okay you're in your room you're home you're safe you can handle it you need to make MJ happy everything is okay _

Peter leaned in for a kiss, running his hand through Michelle's hair. "That works for me."

_ It's just MJ it's just MJ it's not him he's not here he's not gonna hurt you _

Michelle gripped the bottom of Peter's shirt, tugging up gently. 

_ Oh my God nonono this is too much it's too much I can't breathe why can't I breathe where's MJ where am I why am I here why is he here this isn't real nonononono go away stop touching me I'm scared stopstopstopstopstop get off me stop touching me please stop please please pleasepleaseplease _

"Peter?!" Michelle cried out. Peter could hear the muffled voice of the girl across the room from him, but he was too caught up in his own panic to notice that he his pushed her off his bed and into a desk. 

_ This isn't real this isn't real I'm not here he's gone thisisntreal _

"Peter!"

Peter looked around his room, panicked. He tried to find some sense of familiarity but all he could see was  _ his  _ room and  _ his _ smile and  _ his  _ hands creeping up Peter's chest. A ringing noise was growing in Peter's ears along with a feeling of nausea in the pit of his stomach. The 'room' around him was slowly becoming darker and then there was nothing.

**__________**

"Are we uh, gonna talk about the thing that just happened?" 

Peter sat on his couch, covered in just a towel after showering for forty-five minutes straight. His arms and legs were covered in pink splotches from aggressively scrubbing his skin. He stared at the floor, unable to make contact with the girl beside him. Michelle was slumped on the other side, pressing an ice pack on her left shoulder blade.

"Wha… what thing?" Peter questioned. Any person would have thought Peter was playing stupid; nobody can just forget a situation so significant and recent like that. The truth was that Peter really didn't know what his girlfriend was talking about since his brain hadn't been in the correct time or place for the past hour.

"I don't know, maybe the fact that we were making out like two hours ago and then I started taking your shirt off and you started freaking out and pushed me and blacked out?!" Michelle blurted. Peter flinched.

"I'm-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you," Michelle said in a much softer tone. "I'm just… I'm worried. I've seen you panicked but I've never seen you do  _ that _ before."

"Did I… did I hurt you?" Peter stammered. His voice cracked at the word 'hurt'. Peter finally looked at the girl next to him for the first time since the incident and the expression he made shattered Michelle's heart. The puppy-eyed, fluffy-haired hero that she knew and loved was nowhere to be found. Peter's hair was sticking out in every direction from pulling at it frantically and his joyless, red-rimmed eyes were filled with tears. 

"Well, a little maybe? I hit my head a little because I fell into the chair in front of your bed but it's no big deal, I promise. Like honestly it really isn't, I'm not bleeding and I can think straight so I'm fine." She paused for a moment and smiled softly. "And hey, I'm pretty tough, I'll survive a little push."

Peter buried his face in his hands and let out a sob. 

_ You fucking idiot, of course you couldn't handle it. Why the hell did you keep saying you could? Now she probably hates you and never wants to see you again. You hurt her.  _

"Hey hey hey no it's okay Peter it's okay! It's okay, I'm okay, everything is okay," Michelle comforted. She rested her hand on his back as an attempt to comfort him more but the boy flinched harshly, making her jerk her hand back. 

"Please don't tou-touch me," Peter whimpered. 

"I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't know," Michelle sheepishly responded. "Is there… is there anything I can do for you right now?"

"Can you leave me alone? Please? Just… just leave me alone right now."

"Yeah, yeah I can do that," Michelle assured in the least assuring tone possible. Her voice cracked as soon as she spoke. She wiped her eyes and quickly walked out of the apartment, quickly grabbing her phone and keys along the way but not even bothering to grab her jacket. It was a cold December afternoon but she'd rather freeze than add to the unknown problem by crying in front of her boyfriend. 

**___________**

  
  


**3 missed calls from MJ <3 @ 12: 24 PM**

  
  


**1 missed call from MJ <3 @ 9:18 PM**

**From MJ <3 @ 9:30 PM**

** _Peter, I'm sorry about the other night_ **

** _I don't know what I did wrong but if you could tell me we could work stuff out?_ **

**2 missed calls from MJ <3 @ 12: 11 AM**

**From MJ <3 @ 12:11 AM**

** _Peter please respond_ **

** _Please I'm honestly begging you by now I'm scared _ **

** _Like even if you don't wanna talk if you want nothing to do with me that's okay just please tell me so I won't just be hanging over here_ **

** _I know you're seeing these, please can you respond?_ **

_ It's been five days. Five days of completely ignoring her. Five days of leaving her scared out of her mind after you literally  _ ** _hurt _ ** _ her. What's wrong with you? Why can't you just talk to her? Why are you so scared?  _

Peter let out a deep breath and picked up his phone. 

**To MJ <3 @ 10:23 PM**

** _Hey_ **

** _I'm sorry I didn't respond for so long I was just scared to explain everything and I didn't really know how to_ **

** _Can we meet up? At my place? I can give you your stuff back too, you left some scrunchies and a jacket_ **

**From MJ @ 10:30 PM**

** _Are you sure it's not too late? _ **

**To MJ @ 10:32 PM**

** _No it's not I asked May and she said it's ok, she knows what's going on and she wants us to talk _ **

** _I can swing you over here if you want since it's so late_ **

** _I know you don't normally like swinging but I can if you're ok with it_ **

**From MJ <3 @ 10:35 PM**

** _No it's ok I'll walk_ **

** _I'll come over tho_ **

  
  


_ Of course she wants to walk you idiot you literally hurt her why the fuck would she wanna have you hold her and swing her across skyscrapers if she can't even trust you two feet above the floor on your bed you're so stupid she probably hates you you're such an idiot why did you tell her to go away why did you ignore her whywhywhy you ruined everything she's probably only going for an explanation and then leaving you _

"Peter, someone's knocking at the door! Go answer her, I'll stay in my room and you two can go talk in the kitchen," May called out. May kept her distance because Peter was 16 and deserved some privacy, but she did want to stay somewhat nearby in case a repeat of what happened five days ago were to start. 

"Okay, thanks May! Love you!" Peter called back. He ran to the door and opened it cautiously. In front of him stood a nervous girl with frizzy hair laying gently over her left shoulder. Her arms were shoved in her jean pockets but he could clearly tell that Michelle was fidgeting with something in her hand. To be fair, it was late and Peter didn't look like he was fresh off the runway either. His dark circles and old, baggy pajamas weren't really very flattering.

"Uh, hey," Peter greeted after the two took each other's presence in. 

"Hey."

"You might be here a while," Peter cautioned as he led Michelle into his living room. 

"That's okay," Michelle responded timidly. 

The two sat down on the same couch as before, although this time significantly more clothes. Peter took in a deep breath and the two locked eyes.

"So uh, this is gonna be a lot so like… just listen and when I'm done then we can talk about it? I practiced saying this a lot so I don't think I'll cry this time," Peter explained with a nervous laugh. "So basically when I was like, 9 I had this babysitter named Skip. Skip knew I loved science and he would always call me Einstein and do chemistry experiments with me. Then there was this one day where-where he wanted to do a different experiment. He took out a-an adult magazine and he showed me and he said we should try doing those experiments. I said that it didn't seem like the experiments I liked and he said that I'd like it and then he… he hurt me. I told May after like a year of this happening and he got put away but it still fucks with me after all these years apparently? Like I didn't think it did until-until now I guess. He's probably outta jail by now anyway so it doesn't really matter that he was put away anymore."

"Well fuck, Peter."

"Yeah, well fuck is right," Peter chided. "I'm sorry that I uh, freaked out the other day. I-I thought I could handle it but I couldn't and I should've told you and I just… I was scared?"

"Do you mind if I uh, touch you?" Michelle questioned after the mistake of last time. Peter nodded, allowing her to hold his hand. " _ Never  _ apologize for your trauma. I'm not mad, I was never mad, and I'm never  _ going  _ to be mad at you about the other day. I was just… I was really confused and scared because I didn't know what was going on or why you weren't okay? But now that I know we can figure something out."

Peter squeezed Michelle's hand. "Thanks for uh, still being with me after that. After-after I was  _ raped _ I didn't think anyone would handle that? Like I just feel gross and wrong and-and it's just-" 

"Hey hey hey it's okay, it's okay," Michelle interrupted gently. She knew that if she didn't say something soon be would've rambled until he couldn't breathe. She knew that Peter was hurt but she didn't know how far it went; that was until the boy in front of her said  _ raped  _ and her heart broke clean in half. "You're not gross or wrong, nothing that happened to you is your fault. You are  _ so  _ loved by  _ so many  _ people. It's okay, you're gonna be okay. Everything is gonna be okay."

"Do you promise?" 

"Yeah, I promise."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm probably going to stop doing band fics and switch to mcu fics? Thoughts?


End file.
